Have you ever observed a child attempting to walk? It spends as much time on its butt as it does on its feet. After a number of falls, why doesn't it just quit and give up? Well, it doesn't classify those falls as failures. In its little mind, that is part of the process of walking. It has seen others do it, so it is determined to do it, too.
Two weeks later, it is able to stand, balance itself and take a step, without falling. Then it does it over and over again, until it is walking like a champ. At this stage it has no fear or knows no limitations. Whatever it wants to do, it will keep at it until it succeeds, or until it is redirected to something else.
If this child did not have fears at this early age, when did it acquire them?
Once a child starts to walk, it begins to discover interesting places and interesting things to check out. But some of these places and things can be harmful, so the parents or older sibling will intercede on its behalf, telling it NO each time it starts getting near something that isn't good for it.
As an example, our youngest grandson lives in Oregon, so we didn't get to see him until he was about four. I walked up to him and asked him, “Grandson, can I have some sugar?” His answer was, “NO.” I said “Grandson can I have a hug?” He said, “NO.” Finally, I asked his dad if he hears the word no a lot? He said all of the time. He has an older brother and two older sisters plus two parents, someone is telling him no all of the time.
They are telling him this out of love, but he doesn't know that, all he hears is NO, don't do that, NO, don't do that. For the next 12 to 15 months, can you imagine how many times he is going to hear that word? Compare that to him hearing YES.
And at what point do you think he might began to tell himself, no I can't do that?
I grew up in an environment where I was told no and other more unflattering words, and even now I am influenced by some of the things I was told way back then.
All of us have self-talk, as they call it. What are you telling yourself and what effect has that had, and in what ways is it impacting your life today?
Find out. Visit my site Idrisrasheed.com and take my free assessment, and see what you think.
I have made it my goal in life to help every Baby Boomer finally become who they were meant to be.