Years ago, I read a book entitled "What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?" I have long since forgotten the author and the book is probably out of print. I wasn't able to find it, even on Amazon. Until then, I had never even thought about my self-talk.
In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about human thoughts per day. The average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same.
These studies also reveal that the quality of our existence rests on the quality of our internal and external communication. It shows how our bodies respond to the way we think, feel and act. This is often called the mind-body-spirit connection.
When we feel guilt and shame or stress, our bodies cry out to tell us that something isn't right.
These thoughts are with us day in and day out. I remember one stressful period in my life, I could not get my mind to quiet down. As I dozed off to sleep at night, the chatter would be unceasing.
When I awoke in the morning, it would start where it left off the night before, as if I had not slept at all that night. These were the same negative thoughts I carried around with me each day.
Why don't our thoughts thrive on the more positive aspects of our lives? It's complicated. I think this study and all other studies reveal that the average person's thoughts are generally negative, and all of us have negative thoughts from time to time. But people who are happily pursuing their life's objectives are the ones who have them less often than the average Joe, and therefore they are not influenced by them as much.
When you have set your goals and are working toward them, your thoughts are on the rewards you will enjoy once the objective is finished. You can see yourself driving the car or living in that house or wearing the clothes of choice, so there isn't any room in your thoughts for real negative thoughts to slip in.
But what if you don't have any goals? What if you are living from day to day without the expectation of ever having better than you currently have? Then depression can set in and all kinds of thoughts will sashay across your mind.
And remember, these are just thoughts. These are the things the mind produces when it is left on its own. These thoughts are not you. An obstacle on the path of one who is actively involved will be perceived as a blimp on their path to their objective. On the other hand, that same blimp on the path of one who isn't committed becomes a road block. From time to time remind yourself that you are doing much better than it might appear and give yourself a pat on the back.
Change the things you can and accept those you cannot and keep moving in the direction of your dreams. If, at the end of the day, you can look back and see progress made, you are moving in the right direction.
If these negative thoughts persist and you need some help understanding them and overcoming them, contact me at idrisrasheed.com. There you can take my free assessment and we will get to the bottom of these limiting thoughts. Then your self-talk will be positive and supportive of your goals and ambitions.
I have made it my goal in life to help every Baby Boomer finally become who they were meant to be.